How Useless I Seem on Rainy Nights
by lechymonk
Summary: Hakkai hears a creature in agony. It's a little white dragon.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of the characters in the anime or manga, That honor belongs to Kazuya Minekura.**

Hakkai hated the smell of blood. It brought back too many bad memories. The feel of hot blood seeping into every pore of his body as he slashed his way to the bowels of the castle, looking for Kanan. The sight of Kanan killing herself and her blood splashing across his face. The feel of Chin Yisou's blood and guts flowing like a river down his arms. The scent of his life blood being washed away from his body as the rain came down cold upon his skin.

This blood smelled different. Not human. Human blood held a coppery tang to it, the rich iron in the blood making it smell that way. Not youkai. Youkai blood smelled more…earthy in a way. He couldn't explain why youkai blood smelled that way, it just did. No, this blood smelled odd. As if it were a mix of iron, earth and fire.

He should just leave the area. Leave whatever it was die in peace and forget about saving it. Whatever _it_ was. It would be a relief to close his eyes at night and fall to sleep without seeing rivers of red behind his eyes. Not see the faces of those he loved in pain or their eyes blank in death. The ice cream in the grocery sack was beginning to melt anyway.

Taking the long way home seemed the safest decision now. He wouldn't have to come upon whatever was dying over in that clump of bushes. He wouldn't have to pick it up and try to save it. Wouldn't have to hold it in his arms as it took it's last breath. Wouldn't have to lay it down on a damp forest floor while he dug a grave for it. Wouldn't have to wonder if it had a family that would miss it.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Hakkai started walking in the opposite direction of the smell of blood. The grocery sack shook, the paper rustling because his damn hands wouldn't stop shaking. This wasn't any of his concern. He didn't have the power to heal or anything like that. He was nothing more than a man turned youkai, nothing special about him other than that. Keep walking, he told himself, ignore the sounds and the smell.

_Kyuuu_…

Feet faltering, Hakkai stumbled over a pile of leaves. That sad cry. It was an animal. Just an animal that had probably fought a bigger animal and had lost. Perhaps it fought over a female or it was a female that was dying because she was injured while protecting her young. It wasn't human or youkai. Just an animal.

_Kyuuu…_

A drop of rain landed on the tip of Hakkai's nose. Rain was predicted for today but Hakkai had hoped that it would have held off until he made it back to Gojyo's house. Like everything else in his life lately, things weren't going his way. Another cold drop bit his cheek. Then, another and another until the skies opened up and cried on him. Wonderful.

_Kyuuu…_

The creature's cries were fainter now. There's nothing you can do for it, he told himself. Walk away, just keep walking. You couldn't save Kanan and you can't save this creature. You're weak, pathetic, no good for anything or anybody.

_You could hold it while it dies. Give it at least that much comfort._

What good would that do? Watch something else die in front of me, cursing how pathetic I am again?

_You wouldn't be doing this for you. You'd be doing it for the creature. _

It's not like I know whatever it is, out there dying. I'm a stranger. What good would I be doing holding it while it dies?

_Why did Gojyo pick you up? You were just a stranger, laying on a cold forest floor, your blood and guts all around you. You were dying and he picked you up._

Damn conscious. Shouldn't listen to it. Hakkai sighed, his feet already moving to the large bush, towards the smell of blood. It would just be another death on his soul. Another thing he couldn't save. He was condemned to hell anyway. Saving one little animal wouldn't change that fact. Making his way around the bush, Hakkai winced as the smell grew worse.

It was a white dragon. Hakkai dropped the grocery sack in shock, the melted ice cream running in cold rivers around his shoes. It's head was on the ground and it's leathery wings spread out on either side of it. Wicked claws on it's feet dug into the soft ground underneath it, trying desperately to lift itself off the muddy forest floor. One eye opened and a red eye, filled with pain, looked at him.

At that moment, Hakkai knew why Gojyo picked him off of the forest floor. It didn't matter to him if Hakkai might die on the way back to his house. It didn't matter that Hakkai's guts and blood covered his hands as Gojyo tried to hold his insides in one hand, the other arm around Hakkai's waist as they slowly made their way to his house. All that mattered was Gojyo knew Hakkai needed him. Just like this poor creature need Hakkai.

"Oh, oh, you're hurt." Landing hard on his knees next to the dragon, Hakkai gently felt the creature's body, feeling for broken bones. Deep scratches covered parts of it's wings and back. Someone had tried to kill the dragon, that much Hakkai was sure of. Parting the feathers on the base of it's neck, Hakkai could see ugly bruises. They must have tried to strangle it.

His hands shook in anger at the treatment this little dragon suffered under human or youkai hands. No creature should be treated like this. When Hakkai touched it's left wing, the bones made a sickening sound as they rubbed together. Cruel hands had broken the wing in at least two places.

Sticks. He would need sticks and tape and something to bind it with. They were surrounded by large trees and no sticks lay on the ground near enough for Hakkai to take. Besides, he didn't have any tape or any binding in the grocery sack. Curling his hands tightly, Hakkai once again cursed himself for being so useless. A warm sensation began to build up in his palms and he opened his hand. A warm, golden ball of something lay in the palms of his hands. What was that?

As if a switch had been turned on his body, Hakkai could feel the same warm sensation deep within his body. Everyone had chi, it was their life force. But, could _his_ chi do something? Like heal? There was only one way to find out. This creature didn't have long to live and perhaps no matter what Hakkai did, he couldn't save it. But he could at least _try._

The golden orbs shimmered as he lay his palms over the broken bones in the dragon's wing. In Hakkai's mind, he pictured the bones coming together, knitting together, stronger than before. A sickening crunch rang out in the clearing as Hakkai pushed the bones together hard, too hard and the creature cried out.

"I'm sorry, little one! This is the first time I've tried something like that. I'll do better, I promise." Sweat from his brow dripped on it's back. The creature purred.

_I believe._

Must be the rain. There was no way he could understand this little dragon. A wild laugh forced it's way through his gritted teeth. He didn't speak dragon. Dragons weren't even supposed to be real. They were mythological creatures, created centuries ago in someone's imagination.

Hakkai tried again. Closing his eyes, concentrating, he once again saw in his minds eye the bones coming together, slowly this time. The bones lined up and sending a tiny shot of chi deep into the dragon, the bones knit together. Another purr from the dragon and Hakkai smiled. Moving on to the next area, Hakkai repeated the process, using the same amount of care.

With both broken bones in the left wing taken care of, Hakkai shifted around to the other side of the dragon. Feeling the light bones in the right wing, Hakkai felt sure that wing was fine. Those cuts worried him. They seemed very deep but the rain had washed all the mud and muck out of the open wounds. If his chi could heal broken bones, it surely could close the many deep and shallow cuts.

Concentrating, Hakkai decreased the amount of chi to his hands. The last thing he wanted to do was make the cuts worse. Instead of actually touching the cuts like he did with the wings, Hakkai let his hands hover over each cut. His eyes widened as he watched the cuts stitch themselves together as if by magic. Several minutes later, all of the deep cuts were closed and most of the shallow ones, as well.

_Kyuuu._

Wiping the sweat and rain from his brow, Hakkai sat back on his heels, pleased with the results of his healing. Perhaps he wasn't so useless after all. That thought made Hakkai smile the first true smile in weeks. A all over body shiver from the dragon reminded Hakkai that his work wasn't done yet.

Body heat. That would be the best way to warm up the little creature. Opening his shirt, Hakkai bared his chest quickly, not letting too much of his chest get wet. It probably wouldn't have mattered, though. His patient was soaked with rain and blood, so a little more moisture wouldn't harm him.

Gathering up the dragon in his arms, Hakkai gently folded the leathery wings and stuffed the dragon next to his body. The feathers tickled and Hakkai laughed a bit. A strange sound came from the dragon's throat, as if it was laughing with him. Buttoning his shirt back up, a tiny head poked out of Hakkai's collar and a long, warm neck wrapped around his neck.

A purr, longer and louder this time, sounded against his throat.

_Thank you_

Cradling the dragon, supporting it under it's belly, Hakkai stood up. Groceries lay scattered on the forest floor, forgotten. There was no mistaking that purring sound. They were words, dragon language. Hakkai repeated the purring sounds and the dragon shook it's head. It made the sounds again, slowly this time, enunciating each syllable clearly. Hakkai mimicked the sounds, instinctively understanding the strange purring language.

"Do you have a name, little one?" Stroking it's head, Hakkai touch the tiny horns in front of it's ears. The ends were blunt but in a fight, they could do damage to it's opponent.

The dragon shook it's head sadly. No name. No one to call me. No one to love me. No one for me to protect. It wanted to say all that to this man but it would take a long time before this human turned youkai would be able to understand his language fully.

"Hakuryu." The man nodded.

_Kyuuu?_

"Hakuryu. It means white dragon."

He rolled the name around in his little dragon mind, liking the sound of it. Hakuryu. He liked it. Wasn't fancy but he didn't care. He finally had a name.

"You can live with me and Gojyo." The way Hakkai stroked the feathers on his head was making him sleepy. "Gojyo is a good man. He smokes a little too much and he has a bad habit of using a can for an ashtray but other than that, he's comfortable to be around."

Hakkai talked to Hakuryu all the way back to the little house he shared with Gojyo, his melodious voice soothing Hakuryu. As he drifted into a deep sleep, Hakuryu's last thought was how surprised Hakkai and this Gojyo would be when he showed them his other form.


End file.
